Finding Stillness: Embracing Nyepi, the Balinese New Year

As an introvert with a touch of neuro-spice on the spectrum scale, I often find solace in a quiet corner with a good book. Crowds, noise, and small talk are not my favorites. My ideal day involves staying at home, sipping tea, talking to a couple of people, and calling it a win.

So when I arrived in Bali during Nyepi, the Balinese New Year—a full day of enforced silence and staying indoors—I thought to myself: Finally, a holiday designed for me!

But then, something funny happened.

Being told I had to stay home? That I couldn’t go outside? That I wasn’t allowed to make noise, check my email, or even turn on a light after dark?

Cue: Restlessness.

The Unexpected Rub of Enforced Silence

It appears that solitude loses its charm when it’s enforced. Instead of relaxed introspection, I felt rebellious. Questions swirled in my mind:

• Could I sneak onto the roof of our Airbnb to see if anyone else was outside?

• Were people really indoors? Like really?

• Was the airport truly shut down for 24 hours, grounding international flights?

• Would I get in trouble for whispering to a gecko?

  
  

Turns out, everyone was inside. No cars. No planes. Just a whole island embracing stillness.

Once I stopped pacing and leaned into it, Nyepi transformed into one of the most profound and beautiful experiences of my life.

A New Year Unlike Any Other

Nyepi is part of a sacred two-day cycle in the Balinese Saka calendar that symbolizes both purification and rebirth.

The Day Before Nyepi: Tawur Kesanga

The day before Nyepi, called Tawur Kesanga, is dedicated to ritual cleansing. During this time, Balinese families make offerings and gather for a fiery parade of Ogoh-Ogoh—massive, hand-crafted demon effigies that symbolize negativity, chaos, and inner darkness. These towering figures are paraded through villages before being ceremoniously burned to drive away evil spirits and cleanse the environment.

It’s an explosive release of ego, fear, greed, and anger—everything unwanted as we step into the new year.

Then, just like that: silence.

The Sacred Silence of Nyepi

From 6 AM on Nyepi Day, the entire island pauses.

• No flights arrive or depart.

• Roads are devoid of vehicles.

• Lights are dimmed.

• Wi-Fi is switched off.

• Even the ocean seems to hush.

  
  

Nyepi is a day of self-inquiry and reflection for the Balinese. It’s a time to meditate, fast, and pray—to cleanse not just the external world but the internal world as well.

As visitors, we are invited—and expected—to observe this sacred pause alongside the locals.

That morning, I woke early, letting the sun be my alarm. There was no agenda, no email, and no schedule. It was simply a day to be.

I spent the day reading, meditating, journaling, and doing yoga without the usual distractions of sound or walls. I laid on the bed with the windows open, listening—not to anything artificial or digital—but to the world around me.

Nature took a deep breath, reminding me to take mine.

The birds sounded louder. The trees whispered with the wind. Even my thoughts, usually tangled, slowed to a gentle rhythm.

The Profound Gift of Doing Nothing

What struck me most about Nyepi wasn’t the silence but rather the initial discomfort of it. I realized how frequently I sought distraction—a podcast, a message, a scroll—even in paradise.

Yet Nyepi doesn’t allow distractions. It invites you to meet yourself.

Honestly, it was beautiful yet difficult and eventually beautiful again.

I found that stillness is not empty. It is full—of possibilities, clarity, and gentle truths that often go unheard amidst the noise.

A New Kind of New Year

At this stage in life, we navigate not just calendars but also change.

Hormones shift, sleep unravels, and body composition dances unpredictably. Our kids may not need us as they once did—or they’ve left home entirely—and we are often left asking: Who am I now that I’m not constantly needed?

On top of it all, there’s the invisible load:

• Managing aging parents while still parenting teens.

• Providing emotional support for partners, employees, and friends while quietly unraveling at 3 AM.

• Waking up tired and wired with anxiety clouding our minds.

• Missing the woman we once were and being unsure of who we’re becoming.

  
  

It’s overwhelming, but we continue showing up and doing the things.

Nyepi invites us to take a different approach.

It doesn’t seem to push us through. It suggests a pause instead.

It doesn’t merely offer rest; it insists upon it. And in that enforced stillness, I truly understood how deeply I needed it.

How much I craved not another responsibility or decision, but simply space.

Space to feel, think, and step back from being “on.”

Maybe that is the lesson—that we don’t need permission to rest. We simply need to give ourselves the gift of stepping away, even if just for a day.

To be off the hook.

To be unproductive.

To listen instead of doing.

Because the woman we’re becoming?

She is not defined by hustle; she is revealed in quiet.

A Ritual for the Soul

The Balinese don’t just mark a new year; they honor it with meaningful rituals.

They confront their shadows, naming and burning what no longer serves: ego, fear, restlessness, judgment. Then they sit in quiet contemplation with what remains: clarity, presence, and space.

Nyepi always aligns with the new moon—a time across many cultures believed to open a portal for endings, revelations, and radical new beginnings.

What has been hidden may surface.

What’s no longer aligned may fade.

What is true has room to rise.

Isn’t this what many of us seek in this chapter of life?

We, too, are shedding old versions of ourselves. Letting go of expectations that no longer fit. Quietly grieving and joyfully reclaiming, all at once.

Maybe we don’t need fireworks or fanfare.

Maybe we need our own symbolic fire—a space to release mental burdens, body shame, and noise in our heads—alongside a sacred pause to reconnect with who we are beneath it all.

🌑 New Moon Ritual for You

Inspired by the sacred stillness of Nyepi

The new moon is a portal. A soft place to land—a dark sky that asks nothing of you, only that you listen.

Create space:

• Light a candle.

• Sit in silence or journal by hand.

• Dedicate 10 minutes just for you.

  
  

Reflect:

• What am I ready to release—thoughts, body, or beliefs?

• What has been surfacing in me lately that I haven’t voiced?

• What quiet truth is ready to be acknowledged, honored, and reborn?

  
  

Affirm:

"I release what no longer serves with grace and gratitude. In stillness, I return to myself. I trust the quiet to show me the way forward."

In friendship and adventure,

Penny

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